What I am Learning from Parenting
It may be just me but the longer I strive to teach my kids to walk in the way of the Lord the more I see how often I fail to do that myself. The lesson my kids learn most from me would have to be “this is what we are supposed to do but this what sin leads us to do instead”. Raising children continually shows me my need for a Savior. I am pointed back to the Cross several times a day. Not only in pointing them to the Cross for forgiveness and grace but to find forgiveness and grace for myself.
In teaching them what it looks like to be a follower of Christ I see where I am lacking. The Lord uses EVERY conversation that we have about their sin as an opportunity to show me mine. I show them scripture and teach them the truth of the Word of God knowing that only He can produce the miracle of salvation and sanctification. Sometimes I think He only told me to teach them so He could teach me through them. If their hope is in my ability to teach and model well then they are doomed. If I am striving to be upright in front of them so that they can learn from me then I am doomed. I can only walk in the power of His grace with the thought of His love for me motivating me. When I am walking to the Cross and my children are following me there, then we are safe. There we will find hope and promise.
The Lord has blessed me by giving me two completely different children to teach at home. They are completely different in personality and temperament. Different enough to ensure a complete meltdown at the slightest provocation. One is the match and the other is the gasoline. In doing this He has made me completely aware that He is in charge of their hearts. I teach them both and I teach them together, there is nothing one gets that the other does not when it comes to teaching. I would have to say that most of the time there is a different reaction in each heart to the same teaching or talk. My delivery is the same, my words are the same but the difference is what God is doing in their heart with what I am delivering. I am to be faithful to do as He has said in raising my kids. He will be faithful to save them when they call out to Him in faith. Out of the four we have, some of them need to be lost in the world and some need to be raised in home where Jesus is loved and magnified. Some of my children need to dwell in obvious, open sin and some in quiet self-righteousness. The first two needed to be raised by lost people and the last two by believers. The first two got us when we were young and wild; the last two get the more mature version. Are the last two better off than the first? Not in terms of salvation. So the first two may have a lot of wrong thoughts on parenting (ok, on MANY things) but I know that God will use that in some way in their life. He did it for Nolan and me and if He captures them with His love and mercy and grace then He will do the same for them
Why the differences? For His glory for sure and for their salvation I pray.
If their hope is in my ability to teach and model well then they are doomed. If I am striving to be upright in front of them so that they can learn from me then I am doomed.
ReplyDeleteI think you bring up some important points in these statements. The main point being that if we do not point them to the word of God and the righteousness that is only attained by the "object" of our faith, the person and work of Christ, which is an alien righteousness. A righteousness that we can't muster up within ourselves, they can and will, if we are not careful to spot and talk through, look at "our lives" as the gospel instead of the life of Christ.
Then our good morals and looking for our childrens good morals become the focus, over and against where the real focus should be. That focus being the person and work of Christ alone.
Paul does tell us to follow his example, but only as he follows "His" example. Paul is not saying just look to me and follow me. No, Paul is allways pointing us to Christ.
How can we make sure we don't make our christian life and good morals the focus and not the life, death, burial and ressurection of Christ?
I don't want to sound like our life doesn't matter in the realm of morality, it does. We are told to love and serve others as Christ loves and serves us. I know that when I serve, if I am not careful with my words and attitude, I can point only to myself. I can grumble and complain or I can look high and mighty....the hard part is to confess that before my children. In that, they see Christ. They see the gospel applied over and over again. They see the need for it in my life. They see the cross. Ideally, I will serve from my love of Christ and show Christ in me.
ReplyDeleteWhen I am striving to walk rightly bc I want them to see "good Christian behavior" I have failed. I am to strive to walk upright because I am compelled by the love of Christ to do so. So often, what I am lacking is the confession of my failings in front of my kids or I will just take credit for any good that I do.